About Ryan
why I do what I do
I never thought we’d meet like this…
Hi Friend,
Most of my career, I have preferred to stay in the shadows, helping to elevate the message of other people.
I’ve done that 15 years as an entrepreneur, working with over 10,000 influencers, building relationships with over 700,000 customers, and sharing important and meaningful messages to millions of people around the world.
Along the way, I built 6 companies and sold 4 of them.
More importantly, my work felt deeply meaningful and helped a lot of people.
It also provided my family and I with some extraordinary opportunities.
As a growing family of 8, we travelled the world for 7 years, and went to 85 countries.
We enjoyed the best food the world has to offer, basked in the sublime presence of the ancient wonders of the world, marveled at the human ingenuity on display in the world’s grandest buildings, and soaked in every available opportunity for adventure.
We scuba dived through a sharks den in the Galapagos Islands, paraglided the sand dunes off the coast of France, stood just meters away from lions and elephants in their natural Kenyan habit, swam with piranhas, dolphins and river snakes in the Amazon River. I even got to walk amongst penguins and seals in Antarctica.
It was an extraordinary life, and I got to spend it with my favorite people.
But I was living a secret life.
Only a couple other people knew, and neither of them were my wife. And certainly not my kids, or any of my friends.
I was carrying around a secret that I hoped would evaporate into the expanse of time. But instead, it just got heavier
until one day…
I completely… LOST IT!
Like so many others, I had experienced childhood trauma…
And I just didn’t know what to
do about it any more.
At some point,
doing nothing
just
stops working.
On the outside, I looked the part of a strong business leader and entrepreneur.
But inside I was dying.
My body often shook violently “for no reason,” and I would go into “fugue states” where I would remember nothing for minutes, hours, and sometimes days. And yet the thing that I most wanted to forget haunted me in flashbacks by day and nightmares by night.
It was pretty scary stuff. For me. But maybe even more for my family. What do you do when your husband has hours every week where he loses consciousness and shakes. And how exactly are you supposed to explain that to your kids?
I didn’t know then that I had PTSD. What I did know is that if I didn’t find a way to heal, my kids probably grow up without a dad.
So I tried every type of therapy and
treatment that I could find.
And for 2 years, healing from
PTSD became my full time job.
I mean, what else was I going to do?
At one point I had 18 therapies and treatments every single week.
And I almost gave up more times then I can remember.
But then, I started to heal.
There would be brief moments of peace, where I felt just a sliver of joy. But that was enough for me to know that it was possible to feel ok.
That one moment turned into two, the two into ten, and eventually became my default.
My body stopped shaking. My nightmares went away. I stopped losing time.
And I started feeling joy sometimes. For no specific reason.
I was filled for the first time with gratitude for the life that I was living; at the chance to live again.
And yet I also knew that I was one of the lucky ones. I was fortunate enough to have the resources to throw at the problem until I could find a solution.
In the end, I spent over $300,000 to recover.
And I couldn’t help but wonder…
“What if I only had $250,000 to spend on my healing? Or $50,000? Or $5,000? Or even just $500?”
“If I didn’t those resources, would I still be alive today?”
“And what about those that
don’t have the resources I have?
“Don’t they also deserve to find healing?”
And after spending all of that money, I learned that most of it wasn’t even necessary. Because it turns out that we are wired for healing.
Our bodies want to heal.
Our minds want to heal.
Our hearts want to heal.
But I didn’t know that at the time. In fact, I thought I needed someone else to heal me.
Over time it became clear that it was never something that someone else could do for me; it was always going to be an inside job.
I didn’t need someone else to heal me. I just needed a guide.
Sometimes, all we need is a guide.
A guide is simply someone who has been where we are, has been where we want to go, and will walk with us on the journey
A guide helps us to see our own strength, and reveals the hope that already exists within.
A guide witnesses us as we are with curiosity and without judgement.
It can be so hard, though, to find the right guide. When you feel that lost, you don’t know what you don’t know, you don't know what you don’t have, you don’t know what you need, and you don’t know who to trust. And so you have 3 options:
You can throw money at the problem until you find what works.
(But you better have a lot money to spend)You commit to one thing and wait to feel better.
(but you better hope you picked the right thing)You try to become an expert and figure out your path on your own.
(but you better hope you have the time and energy)
As I found my own path to healing, I felt a deep calling to help lower the barriers for other people to find their own.
I started a boutique trauma therapy clinic in Canada with a local therapist and met with every single client personally.
I heard their stories, what kept them up at night, and what they hoped for in the future.
Within 2 years, I had met with over 800 people. Every single story I heard simply added to my resolve.
And the one thing I know that I’m called to is to help remove the barriers to healing for those that need it the most. And maybe to point people in the direction of their own healing.
I’m not a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or mental health practitioner of any kind. That’s not my calling.
I’m a huge fan of a number of modern mental health techniques, practices, and modalities. When chosen correctly, they can really expedite the process of healing in our lives. I used many in my own healing, and there are a few that changed my life forever.
We need to get the “expert class” off of the pedestal we’ve put them on.
But I also think we have put the “expert class” on a pedestal, and assume they have the keys to unlocking our healing for us. I’ve spoken with hundreds of these practitioners, taking trainings, and read many of the books out there, and let me clear that up for you:
They don’t.
Again, they are at their very best when acting in the role of our guide. They are not our healers, and could never be.
And now, I spend my life in the tireless pursuit of hope. Because even if you don’t see it right now, it’s there. Sometimes all you need is a guide to point you in the right direction.
All of the work I do now is to help people like you and I find their way to healing from the hard things in their past, and building resilience for the future.
This is now…
I started HopeGuide to provide those beautiful healing modalities, but in a different way.
First and foremost, our role is to act as a guide; and then create a bridge between what you’re experiencing and the thing that’s most likely to help you find your way to healing faster.
I host the How We Heal Podcast to point the way to healing for those that can’t afford anything. The truth is, we are wired for healing.
And I speak on the subjects of healing and resilience to spread the word of what’s possible.
I hope you’ll join me in Hope. There’s plenty to go around.